The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
