i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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