Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
