Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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