the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The struggles of a small town man whore
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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