The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
