I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
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it's like heaven, but drunker
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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