It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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