As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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