id be glad to
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
