And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.