he puts the penis in happiness.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here