I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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