I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
