Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
the condom got lost in my hair
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.