at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
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what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.