You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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