I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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