so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize