Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
