The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
