I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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