The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
