i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just google imaged poop.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
