Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
