how can u be prego again
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
