WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
