I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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