I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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