Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
