If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You have to summon your inner elephant
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
