the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling