so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to