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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  the wall and i were having dominance issues.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".

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• (530): View more from California

  I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.

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• (585): View more from New York

  yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (713): View more from Texas

  If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor

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• (760): View more from California

  I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  That jawline could fucking have its way with me.

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