Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.