Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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