I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
