I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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