I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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