are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
