Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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