do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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