I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
