Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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