Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize