At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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