I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
