I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
