Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I love you. Go after that dick