it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response