lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
