Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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