Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
