I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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