We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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