Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
