Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
