No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize