thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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