Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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