how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize