weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
