I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
