Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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